Here we are at part two of my Twenties Guide To Life series! Did you read the first post about budgeting? I'd love to know how following any of the advice helps to change your life. This post is all about...relationships! Dun. dun. dun. As someone who has been in a relationship for the past few years and has spent plenty of time single, as well, I feel confident in everything I am going to share with you.
1. Don't dwell on the past Don't spend your time dwelling on past arguments or things that have happened in the past. Did he say he'd be there in 20 minutes and then get caught up playing video games for 3 hours? Don't dwell on it. Say your aggravations as they're happening, learn from it together, and move on.
2. Give him (or her) some space This is especially true if you live together. Spend at least a few hours a day apart. If he wants to go up and see his family for a weekend, that doesn't mean you have to go too. Feel okay doing things separately. Too much time together can cause friction and animosity.
3. Expect romance A little romance is never too much to ask. You're in a ROMANTIC relationship. You're not just buddies. Romance doesn't need to mean fancy dinners or an expensive bouquet of roses after work. Planning a date day at least once a week is a great way to keep the romance going. Falling into a rut is easy, if you find yourselves slipping - do something to change it.
4. Learn to compromise It's not always going to be what you want all the time. I know, it's dreadful. You know what's not so bad? Compromising. Whether the compromise is what to have for dinner, what movie to watch, who's going to sweep the floors, or who's going to clean up after your dog. Always be ready to compromise. Pick your battles wisely.
5. Accept the ghosts of relationships past Unless you've been with your significant other since you were much younger, they've probably been with other people. Both sexually and emotionally. There's nothing worse than sitting and thinking about the other people that your person has been with. It's important that both people accept the other's past relationships and don't dwell on them. Your partner is choosing to be with you. That should be enough.
6. Find separate hobbies Go to a dance class, work on your planner, have wine nights with your friends. Having interests and things you do that the other isn't necessarily interested in is so important. You'll both be happier if you have individual interests and hobbies.
7. Don't stop trying When the novelty of a new relationship starts to wear off it's easy to stop trying to impress your significant other. You may stop going to the gym, making them meals, or dressing up for them. Continue trying to be the best version of yourself. Put on a sexy dress, pour a couple glasses of wine, do the dishes without being asked. Don't fall into being a sub-par version of yourself just because it's comfortable.
8. Talk about sex When sex becomes a part of your routine it's easy to not talk about it. It just happens so why bother? It's not bad so why bring it up? Because it's important that both people feel heard. Is there something that your partner has been wanting to try but is too scared to ask? Having frequent conversations about what you like, don't like, and would like to try can keep things going smoothly. You don't want to end up in a boring or sexless relationship down the road, right? Even just sharing things you think are sexy can be a majot turn-on for your partner. Own it!